Sins of the Father
by Philote
Summary: Jesse struggles with some issues after his confrontation with his father. (Missing scene for "Blood Ties")


Title: Sins of the Father

Author: Piper

E-mail: hyperpiper_019@hotmail.com

Rating: G

Summary: Jesse struggles with some issues after his confrontation with his father. (Missing scene for "Blood Ties")

Disclaimer: The characters and situations of Mutant X do not belong to me. Please don't sue!

Author's Note: This takes place at the end of "Blood Ties" immediately after Jesse's last confrontation with his father where he destroys the disk. There are definitely spoilers for that episode. I hope you enjoy reading this; please leave me a review and let me know what you think. This is my first Mutant X story, so please be gentle!

~*~

Brennan waited just outside the safe house door while Jesse confronted Noah. He was resisting the urge to eavesdrop, but he seriously hoped the younger mutant was telling his father exactly where he could go.

He knew that Jesse's loyalties had really been tested in the past couple of days. Jesse obviously loved his father and wanted to believe that his father was worthy of that love. The conflict came into play because Mutant X had become his family, and his father had pitted him against them. He hadn't been able to turn on his father. Maybe there was some truth to the statement that blood was thicker than water.

Sitting in Sanctuary earlier while Jesse flew off, they had all been able to hear the confusion and pain in his voice. But they hadn't been able to talk him back. Adam had worried about Jesse's blind faith in his father, and not just because it might prompt him to betray Mutant X and give up the disk. Their leader was afraid that Jesse was being lead into a trap. It had taken him all of ten seconds after Jesse cut the comm to instruct Brennan to follow him, mostly because they thought he might need protecting.

Brennan snapped back to the present when Jesse came out the door. He didn't even notice Brennan standing there; he just stalked past. "Hey," Brennan called, getting Jesse's attention and hustling to catch up. "What happened?"

"He actually had the nerve to ask me for the disk. Don't worry; I didn't give it to him. It's destroyed." Jesse resumed walking away.

Brennan closed his eyes briefly, shocked by just how big a jerk Noah Kilmartin was. That disk was more important to him than his son. Brennan then realized that Jesse was getting away again and hurried to match his stride. "I wasn't worried; not about that."

Jesse laughed harshly. "You were earlier. You all were."

"Jess…"

"No." Jesse stopped suddenly, and Brennan narrowly avoided running into him. The smaller man sighed. "It's okay. I gave you every reason to doubt me. I'm sorry." He made eye contact for about two seconds, and then he was walking off again.

This time, Brennan didn't let him get far. He grasped his arm and pulled him to a halt. "Listen to me, Jesse. Yeah, we were worried that you might hand over the disk, but more than that we were worried about you." He paused, then asked more gently, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'll be fine." He pulled away, and this time Brennan let him go. He obviously needed some space right then. As his friend walked away, Brennan cast a look back towards the safe house. He actually debated going back in there and having his own little talk with Noah. He had come to think of Jesse as a little brother, and he didn't like anyone hurting him, father or not.

In the end he decided to stay out of it, at least for the moment. Hopefully the elder Kilmartin would take the hint from his son and disappear out of Jesse's life for a while. 

~*~

Hours later back at Sanctuary, Brennan was looking for Jesse to hopefully talk him to going to a movie or a club—something to take his mind off of his father. He found Shalimar first. She was seated on a stair intently watching something across the room, something he couldn't see from where he was standing. As he walked over to her he looked to see what was so interesting.

She had found Jesse before he had. Their young team member had pulled up the computer-generated program they used for training. "What's happening?" Brennan asked the feral.

She barely spared him a glance. "Looks like he needs a punching bag to work out some of his feelings."

They watched in silence as Jesse and the realistic male image exchanged a few punches. But Jesse didn't seem focused; he wasn't fighting all that well. One good hit from his opponent sent him to the floor. "Ouch," Brennan said, wincing in sympathy.

Shalimar shook her head. "He's going to hurt himself. Someone needs to talk to him," she said, starting to rise.

"Wait," he said, placing a hand on her arm. "I'll do it."

She cast him a doubtful look. "Brennan, I don't think…"

"Why not? I'm the only one who had any kind of contact with his Dad; I'm the one who helped him out earlier. I think he'll talk to me."

She sighed. "Do you know why I didn't want you to talk to him earlier?"

He sighed as well. "Because you're incredibly overprotective and you knew I wouldn't coddle him." Her eyes flashed dangerously in response, but he plunged on anyhow. "He's not a baby, Shal. I didn't want him to get hurt any more than you did, but we couldn't change the truth. Noah was in control of that, not us. The sooner Jess faced reality about his father, the better."

"Brennan…he's not like you and me, okay? He comes from a completely different background. He still has a good amount of innocence and an ability to trust and I just…" she sighed, turning her gaze from Brennan across the room to Jesse. "I hate to see that innocence destroyed." 

Brennan didn't respond, instead following her gaze to watch his friend throw punch after punch at the VR image. He and Shalimar both winced a few seconds later as Jesse abruptly lost the upper hand once more and hit the floor hard. The blond slammed a hand on the floor in frustration before climbing to his feet and resuming the fight.

Brennan tore his eyes from the rather disturbing scene when Shalimar began to speak again. "I didn't want you to talk to him earlier because yes, I knew you wouldn't coddle him. I knew that you'd try to get through to him bluntly and that's not what he needed—fighting with you is not what he needed. I don't know if you've noticed but he looks at you as a big brother. Your opinion matters, what you say matters."

"Ow!" Jesse's cry of pain interrupted them and their attention swung back to him as he again hit the ground, this time with a hand pressed to his left eye.

"Well, one of us had better go over there before he gets himself killed by his imaginary opponent," Brennan pointed out, then looked to Shalimar. 

She glanced from Jesse to him and then back to Jesse. "Fine, you go," she conceded. "Try not to make things worse, huh?" she called after him as he started towards their friend.

"Hey, I can be gentle," he said over his shoulder. She smirked in disbelief, but the look in her eyes told him clearly that he had better be gentle. He had no doubt that hurting Jesse would earn him some physical pain from Shalimar. The feral was fiercely protective of her family.

As he headed across the main room of the Sanctuary to the area Jesse had made into his own personal arena, he thought of how he was getting familiar with that protective feeling, too. He had always been somewhat of a loner, but that was changing as he got closer to the other members of Mutant X. He was still a little unsure of his feelings for Shalimar, but Jesse and Emma had become like little siblings to him. The big brother role was new for him, but he was learning.

His thoughts were interrupted as he neared Jesse just in time for the younger man to hit the floor yet again. He got to his feet a bit more slowly this time. Before he could lunge at the computer-generated man again, Brennan reached for the console and shut off the program. Jesse stood confused for a moment, then dropped his fists and turned around to stare at him.

"Who's winning?" Brennan asked casually.

"Well nobody now." Jesse was obviously annoyed at the interruption, despite that he was breathing hard and looked a little worse for wear.

Brennan continued as if Jesse had never spoken. "Because from over here, it looked like you were getting your butt kicked."

"I was fine," Jesse responded indignantly. "I don't see you up here doing any better."

Brennan studied him for a moment, then began to shrug out of his jacket. "You want to fight? Let's fight." He threw the jacket aside and mounted the platform, taking a stance across from his best friend. "Let's see what you've got against some real flesh and blood."

There was no way Jesse was in shape for a fight with Brennan at that moment, and Brennan knew that. But he also knew that Jesse wasn't about to back down from a challenge, especially with all that anger backing up his strength. So he wasn't surprised when the blond nodded and pulled his fists back up. "Okay. Let's go." 

They circled each other warily. Brennan waited for Jesse to throw the first punch, which he easily dodged. He threw a couple of half-hearted punches at Jesse—he didn't want to actually hurt him—but his friend didn't seem to share that sentiment. One well-placed punch hit him squarely on the nose and actually sent him reeling.

He reflexively covered his nose with his hands, and when he brought them away they were streaked with blood. He cast a disbelieving glare at Jesse. But the younger man didn't seem to notice that he had just made his friend bleed. He was still swinging. Brennan blocked the next couple of punches and then started fighting back, landing a couple swings of his own.

Across the room, Emma walked up to join Shalimar. She followed her friend's gaze and stared at the boys, confused. "What's going on?"

Shalimar shook her head in disbelief. "He calls _that_ gentle."

"What?"

Shalimar glanced at Emma. "Brennan went over there to keep Jesse from hurting himself. Apparently that translates in his mind into beating his best friend into a pulp." She watched for a few seconds more, then said, "Okay, I've had enough. Jesse's had a hard enough day without this." She started towards them.

Emma's hand on her arm stopped her. "Shal, wait. I get the feeling I don't know the whole story here, but I do know that Brennan wouldn't hurt Jesse. Especially right now when he's already so vulnerable. I'm sure he knows what he's doing, just give him a chance."

Shalimar didn't look happy. But she slowly nodded and settled back on the stair alongside Emma to watch.

Meanwhile, the fight was getting far too serious for Brennan's liking. Jesse was fighting him like he would fight a GSA agent instead of like they were having a training fight. He was using all of the strength he had, forcing Brennan to fight back just as hard. But he was also making mistakes. After Brennan had landed a couple of hard punches that he hadn't really meant to he had started to pull back, but that was earning him some pain of his own. He decided it was time to stop this.

It took a couple of tries, but Brennan managed to catch Jesse's forearms. He held tight as the younger man tried to jerk away from him. "Jesse, stop. Jesse!" It took a few minutes of struggling before Jesse stilled in Brennan's grasp. At that point Brennan could feel him shaking—whether from adrenaline, anger, or something else entirely, he wasn't sure. He ducked his head, trying to catch Jesse's eyes. Jesse stubbornly refused to look up, instead studying some point on the floor to his right. He was still tense enough that Brennan thought he would either bolt or start punching if released, so he kept his grip as he fought for the right words to get through to his friend. "Jesse, I know you're hurting. But you can't obsess over this. It'll eat you alive—it already is," he said quietly.

Jesse met his eyes for about half a second before looking back down, shaking his head in denial. "I'm fine."

"Yeah, that's why we both look like we've been in a prize fight." He kept his tone light, but he was only half kidding. He was going to have more than a few bruises from their friendly little sparring. He silently reminded himself never to underestimate Jesse's fighting abilities.

Jesse looked up again, apparently noticing the damage he had done to his friend for the first time. Brennan saw a flash of guilt in his eyes before Jesse mumbled weakly, "You wanted to fight."

"Yeah, I did. Mostly because I was hoping to break through that wall you've put up around yourself," Brennan replied.

Jesse took to studying the floor again. Since he had calmed down somewhat, Brennan finally released his wrists. Jesse backed away, putting a more comfortable space between them, but he didn't move to leave. He also didn't respond. "Come on, Jess. Talk to me," Brennan said quietly.

He waited while Jesse began to pace back and forth. He was still visibly shaking and couldn't stay still. It was a few minutes before Jesse began to speak, gesturing with his hands as he continued to pace. "He was right about one thing—he's never been the Dad I wanted. Somehow I held on to the hope that someday he would be, that he would just magically change and suddenly be there for me. I know that wasn't realistic, but…what can I say, I've always been naïve."

Brennan forced himself to keep silent. Jesse obviously wasn't finished yet. He wouldn't have known what to say at that point anyhow—he'd had that same thought more than once. Jesse was a little naïve. Sometimes it got him hurt. 

Jesse continued, "I realize that he's not a great person. I've always known that on some level. It's hard to face, but I have…I'm trying anyhow. That's not what's bothering me now."

"Then what is?"

"For so many years, all I wanted was for him to love me. But he never really did. I guess he never will."

Brennan took a few steps closer, intent on finding some way to comfort. He told himself that, as painful as this was, at least Jesse was talking now.

But before he could say anything, Jesse spun back around to face him. "You've known me for a while now. Maybe you can help me figure it out."

"Figure what out?" Brennan asked softly, though he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

Jesse's eyes finally met his. "What is it that is so wrong with me? Why doesn't he love me?" he asked brokenly.

His eyes looked ready to spill at any moment, but it was the piercing pain in them that went straight to Brennan's heart. "Jess…"

As his tears started to spill, Jesse turned away from Brennan. Or at least he tried to. Brennan crossed the remaining steps between them and pulled Jesse into a tight embrace. Jesse initially fought him, embarrassed by the tears, but Brennan held firm. After a moment Jesse stilled in his arms, allowing himself to be held while he cried softly on his friend's shoulder.

Across the room, the girls were still watching the show. "Wow," Emma commented. "I don't think I've ever seen Jesse cry before."

"It's not something he likes to do in front of other people," Shalimar responded softly. "Even me and Adam. I've got to admit, Brennan's handling him better than I thought he would."

Emma cast her a smile. "I told you he wouldn't hurt him. You think you're ready to share your protector duties?"

Shalimar cast her a look. "No." She sighed. "But I suppose I'll get used to it."

Adam chose that moment to join them. "What's going on?" he asked with concern when he saw that Jesse was crying. 

"He's just working through some issues," Emma answered.

"Should one of us go over there?" The question was obviously addressed to Shalimar, who was usually the best at comforting Jesse.

She shook her head. "No. Brennan's got him." She turned away from the boys. "I think they'll be alright." She walked away, and the other two soon followed.

Meanwhile, Brennan said nothing as Jesse cried. He simply held him and waited out the tears.

When Jesse had calmed down enough to pull away, Brennan let him go. Jesse scrubbed at his eyes. "Jeez, look at me. I'm crying all over you like some girl. I'm sorry."

"First, I think Shalimar and Emma might take offense to that girl comment. And second, I think you're entitled to an emotional release." He meant that, too. This little breakdown had been years in the making; Brennan was just glad it had happened here instead of when Jesse was alone somewhere trying to get through it by himself. "It's alright for you to lean on us every now and then, you know."

"Yeah." Jesse stared at him for a beat to see the sincerity in his eyes before looking away. "I'm sorry about your nose, too." 

"Hey, nothing a little ice and a couple of days healing won't cure. Don't sweat it. After all, I did start it. And next time I try to start something like that, remind me of what you did to my nose," Brennan returned, watching as Jesse cracked a small smile and nodded in response. Then he grew serious again and said, "Jess, about what you said before…"

"Which thing?"

"You asked me why he doesn't love you," Brennan said softly. His friend looked away, obviously embarrassed but also in emotional pain. "Hey, look at me." Jesse slowly complied, eyes red. "There is nothing wrong with you, Jess. It isn't you, it's him that's the problem."

"But he's my father. I would have to have done something to not be worthy of his love—"

"No, Jess." Brennan hated to see what this was doing to his friend. "Fathers should love unconditionally but some just don't. I won't pretend to understand why some parents are great and others are…well, like ours. And I won't make excuses for him. But I will tell you that whatever his problem is, it isn't because of you. Don't let him drag you down like that. I know this is hard for you to hear but—he isn't worth it, Jess."

"Yeah…I hear what you're saying, Brennan. It just hurts, you know?"

Brennan sighed. "Yeah, I do," he answered softly. "Look, I know we aren't blood, but Mutant X is a family of sorts. And you're an important part of that. We all care about you." 

Jesse looked up at him, eyes bright, and nodded. 

Brennan held the somber moment for a few more seconds, then said, "And if you ever start thinking that you aren't worth it, just come to me and I'll be more than happy to knock some sense into you."

Jesse laughed. "Yeah, you did a pretty good job of that a minute ago. Remind me never to make you mad."

Brennan smiled as well. "Funny, I was just thinking the same thing about you."

Jesse got serious again. "Hey Brennan…thanks."

"No problem kid." He slung an arm around Jesse and began walking him down the stairs. "Now, how about a nice, safe movie…"

From a perch above the boys, Adam watched inconspicuously as they walked away. He had been worried enough about Jesse to keep watch over the situation. He was impressed with Brennan and his handling of the situation. When Brennan had first joined Mutant X he had worried about the elemental's ability to be a team player. He wasn't sure Brennan would mesh well with the others. But he seemed to have adapted very well, especially if he was to the point where Shalimar would trust him to handle Jesse. 

The leader now also saw that Jesse was willing to rely on their eclectic little family for help. He would get through this thing with his Dad, and they would all be stronger on the other side.


End file.
